Like any mum I wanted to cook wonderful, creative and healthy meals for my kiddo. Even my Kid was never a fussy eater but I liked to make fancy, decorative and eye appealing meals/ snacks. But soon started to realize more I prepared Jazzed-up meals for him his expectation too increased there were times when I gave him simple dal, roti and he would make faces. Let’s face it such meals can only be prepared once or twice in a week not everyday! We mums already have so much to accomplish everyday! So here, are my simple yet delicious two recipe’s that appeal to kids eyes and help those taste buds to develop. These 2 recipe's can be combined to be served as a healthy breakfast. This is usually our Sunday Breakfast! Recipe 1- Kryptonite Parantha/ Palak ka Parantha: This name is given by my son and it’s his fav parantha because of the color, ofcourse and also it has power to defeat even Superman. Ingredients Required: Spinach/Palak- 500gms Garlic- 2/3 clo
Do we know that India legalised a Women right to abort way back in 1971. The provision includes women under 18, as long as they have their guardian’s consent, and women made pregnant by rape. A woman doesn’t need the consent of her husband and can legally terminate at up to 20 weeks’ gestation. Also the procedure is allowed if her physical or mental health is under threat or the child that would be born would have “such physical or mental abnormalities as to be seriously handicapped”.
One clause, however, is specifically reserved for married women: abortion because of contraceptive failure.
But yet a women cannot go to a clinic to get a proper consultation about well being of her mind, body if she wants to get an abortion without being judged by her husband, doctors and even in her own eyes because of the Taboo created by our own society which includes us even.
If she decides to have an abortion she is not less of a women!
6 months after delivering my Kiddo, I got pregnant (I will not justify it with a reason here) . All I knew was my kid was quite small and the responsibilities as well as experiences that I had with my first pregnancy, I was just not prepared to have another child at that time and Thankfully! this reason was enough for my husband to be on my side as we were also not financially ready. I didn't mind taking his opinion in this decision but do you know most of the women do not want their husband to know about the abortion because often abortion is a proxy for contraception and sadly in India Women are not expected to use contraceptives and abortion would be a much worse offence.
So we went to our Gynae that delivered my first baby as soon as I told her about my pregnancy and what I intend to do she promptly replied "Woh toh sex karte hue sochna chahiye tha abb ye sab nahi karna!" and I was shocked, I just couldn't help thinking that if I do not feel comfortable even talking to this lady or even replying back to her unnecessary comment how will she treat an unmarried girl!
Soon I got my answer as I went to another, so called good doctor this time, without my hubby and told her about it and asked for her opinion. An assistant sitting next to her asked me "Kiska Bachha Hai?" to which doctor replied "Hoga iske Boy friend ka" I was so confused what was going on and realised a few minutes later because I was not wearing Bindi on my forehead or Magalsutra in my neck the so called signs of a typical "married women" they had the audacity to question my or as a matter of fact any women's character? This time i replied bluntly "Hai to mera and mere husband ka lakin agar boyfriend ka hota to app mujhe consult b nahi karte?" after this he apologised.
I knew I could get an abortion here but like with my earlier doctor I just didn't felt comfortable discussing my situation with him.
So my husband asked his friend about a safe place where we could get counselled this place was the shabbiest and the most unhygienic place to be called a health center obviously an un-certified providers or a quack.
But the place was so full of women who didn't mind risking their lives in these back alleyways just because of the stigma attached , or not knowing the law, expense, fears about confidentiality, and/ or lack of access to healthcare institutions which I myself was struggling to find one. And, without checking or knowing about my health conditions or doing an ultrasound they just asked how many days I was far from my periods and based on that they decided I would need a medical procedure. WHHHHAT!!!
And again a big disaster that i encountered their was an unmarried couple looking all confused and nervous waiting for their turn as we sat besides them, the girl gathered the courage to ask me if the doctor was nice or not. When I asked her about her condition she told me that they googled and got the abortion pills from a pharmacy with a little guidance from their friend who was studying to be a doctor but they didn't knew there would be so much bleeding that the girl went to office where she just couldn't control the mess, pain and the embarrassment but now it had been a week and the bleeding had not stopped, on coming to this doctor she advised a "medical procedure" to see if the abortion was done properly or something went wrong.
As dangerous this incident may sound I am sure tons of such cases might occur due to the barriers and lack of sex education put up by our society.
But there needs to be a safe way without making a women feel guilty of difficult choice she already is making yes they can counsel her with pros and cons by assessing her medical conditions but why there is a need to make their body a battlefield.
Finally after thoroughly searching the internet I could find A PLACE which followed proper procedure and even studied my previous pregnancy and advised to go for a thyroid test just to be sure what can be or needs to be done or should not be done. After going through the repoorts she just gave me the pills with the list of proper precautions that needs to be taken care of.
It was a small yet a neat clinic not the jazzy 5 star ones with the sophisticated doctors as well as nurses which without any judgements or without any money minting tactics just followed the procedure.
But still I just can't get that lonely couple out of my head that represent may be 100's of couple that could attempt something so dangerous that could have costed them with the girls life because we as a society fail to understand the practicality of life and want to hide the realities of life under the good name of our so called "Sanskar" but this would not help lift the taboo behind this.
Is this right?
Can't we just accept it and educate kids and impart proper sex education, educate women about their body, their reproductive rights, overcoming their fears,and to give access of basic healthcare institutes as well as train our medical practitioners to be bit empathetic towards their patients and keep judgement to them selves.
and “If you are really genuinely anti-abortion then it makes sense to increase access to contraception to as many people as possible.” Get rid of the myths surrounding there usage like in case of IUD's. The fact are full of myths and misconceptions which irritates the hell out of me and just randomly plucked from the sky.
and replacing the term “married women” with “all women” in the contraceptive failure clause would definitely help tons of girls and there families.
I dare you if you can speak about your or your abortion stories, the things you faced and how you dealt with it, maybe not publicly but among friends so that taboo can be lifted over it and women can finally not feel guilty of somethings in their life as it is motherhood and getting married in India can be quite exhausting and demanding. She for one should not feel like being in a battlefield for every step and decisions she takes about herself.
This Blogpost is a part of the Dare-a-thon hosted by Momsteins: My Little Muffin Mom, The Mom Sagas and Mummasaurus. I Thank Manvi, The Simple Mumma for introducing me in her blog and further request you all to head to the Blog Post by Lohitha of Some Beautiful Smiles to read about how she Dared You.
One clause, however, is specifically reserved for married women: abortion because of contraceptive failure.
 |
| Source: Google |
If she decides to have an abortion she is not less of a women!
6 months after delivering my Kiddo, I got pregnant (I will not justify it with a reason here) . All I knew was my kid was quite small and the responsibilities as well as experiences that I had with my first pregnancy, I was just not prepared to have another child at that time and Thankfully! this reason was enough for my husband to be on my side as we were also not financially ready. I didn't mind taking his opinion in this decision but do you know most of the women do not want their husband to know about the abortion because often abortion is a proxy for contraception and sadly in India Women are not expected to use contraceptives and abortion would be a much worse offence.
 |
| Source: Google |
Soon I got my answer as I went to another, so called good doctor this time, without my hubby and told her about it and asked for her opinion. An assistant sitting next to her asked me "Kiska Bachha Hai?" to which doctor replied "Hoga iske Boy friend ka" I was so confused what was going on and realised a few minutes later because I was not wearing Bindi on my forehead or Magalsutra in my neck the so called signs of a typical "married women" they had the audacity to question my or as a matter of fact any women's character? This time i replied bluntly "Hai to mera and mere husband ka lakin agar boyfriend ka hota to app mujhe consult b nahi karte?" after this he apologised.
I knew I could get an abortion here but like with my earlier doctor I just didn't felt comfortable discussing my situation with him.
So my husband asked his friend about a safe place where we could get counselled this place was the shabbiest and the most unhygienic place to be called a health center obviously an un-certified providers or a quack.
But the place was so full of women who didn't mind risking their lives in these back alleyways just because of the stigma attached , or not knowing the law, expense, fears about confidentiality, and/ or lack of access to healthcare institutions which I myself was struggling to find one. And, without checking or knowing about my health conditions or doing an ultrasound they just asked how many days I was far from my periods and based on that they decided I would need a medical procedure. WHHHHAT!!!
And again a big disaster that i encountered their was an unmarried couple looking all confused and nervous waiting for their turn as we sat besides them, the girl gathered the courage to ask me if the doctor was nice or not. When I asked her about her condition she told me that they googled and got the abortion pills from a pharmacy with a little guidance from their friend who was studying to be a doctor but they didn't knew there would be so much bleeding that the girl went to office where she just couldn't control the mess, pain and the embarrassment but now it had been a week and the bleeding had not stopped, on coming to this doctor she advised a "medical procedure" to see if the abortion was done properly or something went wrong.
As dangerous this incident may sound I am sure tons of such cases might occur due to the barriers and lack of sex education put up by our society.
But there needs to be a safe way without making a women feel guilty of difficult choice she already is making yes they can counsel her with pros and cons by assessing her medical conditions but why there is a need to make their body a battlefield.
Finally after thoroughly searching the internet I could find A PLACE which followed proper procedure and even studied my previous pregnancy and advised to go for a thyroid test just to be sure what can be or needs to be done or should not be done. After going through the repoorts she just gave me the pills with the list of proper precautions that needs to be taken care of.
 |
| Source: Google |
It was a small yet a neat clinic not the jazzy 5 star ones with the sophisticated doctors as well as nurses which without any judgements or without any money minting tactics just followed the procedure.
But still I just can't get that lonely couple out of my head that represent may be 100's of couple that could attempt something so dangerous that could have costed them with the girls life because we as a society fail to understand the practicality of life and want to hide the realities of life under the good name of our so called "Sanskar" but this would not help lift the taboo behind this.
Is this right?
Can't we just accept it and educate kids and impart proper sex education, educate women about their body, their reproductive rights, overcoming their fears,and to give access of basic healthcare institutes as well as train our medical practitioners to be bit empathetic towards their patients and keep judgement to them selves.
and “If you are really genuinely anti-abortion then it makes sense to increase access to contraception to as many people as possible.” Get rid of the myths surrounding there usage like in case of IUD's. The fact are full of myths and misconceptions which irritates the hell out of me and just randomly plucked from the sky.
and replacing the term “married women” with “all women” in the contraceptive failure clause would definitely help tons of girls and there families.
I dare you if you can speak about your or your abortion stories, the things you faced and how you dealt with it, maybe not publicly but among friends so that taboo can be lifted over it and women can finally not feel guilty of somethings in their life as it is motherhood and getting married in India can be quite exhausting and demanding. She for one should not feel like being in a battlefield for every step and decisions she takes about herself.
 |
| Source: Google |
Hosted By :
So much of information about abortion! Thanks for sharing. Coming to the stigma, agree or not this sanskar play a huge role in life. Doctors brutal words are not so uncommon when a woman goes through procedure. This post gave me goosebumps and I took 2 minutes to absorb the stated scenario. Nailed it!
ReplyDeleteSanskar is quite a big word to comment upon . as the adolescent age drops sex education will only help youngsters and not just sanskars .I am glad the scenario I stated is not common one like you said and it should not be. Thanks you for reading it
DeleteOh my gosh.... such a dare story... You are really brave and strong to share this story on social media. Such things are always kept hidden as dark secrets. One should come forward and share such experiences, only then we can see a ray of hope for changing the mentality of the society.
ReplyDeleteYes indeed I am glad you agree wd me
DeleteWow! Such an informative write up! Things like these stay behind the curtains, glad to read it here! Yes there is a stigma to abortions . But sensitizing and awareness about these things that have a blotch is so required. Still Can' t wrap my head around the girl's situation.
ReplyDeleteYes agree sensitising and awareness is required
DeleteBravo! It takes guts to talk about a topic as sensitive as this. So happy that you shared some important facts and tried to lift the taboo around this topic. Kudos and more power to you.
ReplyDeleteThank You was not sure and was thinking alot to write in a best possible manner
DeleteSo many things in this blog actually enraged me I felt furious reading those statement by such big nasty fat bellied doctors. Such a shame, such a pathetic shame!! It is brave and justified that you responded to them and shut them up!
ReplyDelete